AI isn’t just changing how work gets done. It’s quietly rewriting how we see each other. And unless we learn to lead through that distortion, we’ll lose something essential.
The pitch sounds great: smarter tooling, faster decisions, clearer communication. But the real impact? It’s more subtle. More dangerous. It’s the erosion of the very things leadership depends on. Trust, growth, and human clarity.
The leaders who thrive in the AI era won’t be the ones who adopt the most tools. They’ll be the ones who learn to see through the polish and stay connected to what’s real.
The Authenticity Crisis Isn’t One-Way
Let’s start with the uncomfortable truth: your team is already using AI to talk to you. They’re polishing emails, prepping talking points, generating answers that sound sharp, but aren’t always theirs. You’re not leading people anymore. You’re leading personas.
But the distortion flows both ways. Leaders are using AI to become more persuasive, more prolific, harder to challenge. Why take a messy swing at a pitch when you can run it through five AI passes and come out sounding like a Fortune 500 keynote?
The danger isn’t the polish. It’s what gets lost under it. Uncertainty disappears. Hesitation vanishes. People show up “ready” in ways that feel strangely hollow.
And when both sides are optimized? You get the illusion of communication without any of the substance.
Remote Work Amplifies the Problem
Remote work already limits our exposure to the messy, spontaneous signals that help us actually understand people: how they respond to questions they didn’t expect, how they process ideas in real time, how they stumble, recover, clarify. Those moments are disappearing.
In their place? AI-polished updates. Camera-ready presence. Meetings that feel more like performance than collaboration. Even video calls, our last holdout of human signal, are being scripted. Real-time prompt support. Background summarizers. On-screen nudges. It’s getting harder to tell what someone actually thinks.
If trust already takes longer to build remotely, AI just added another layer of glass between you and the truth.
The Skill Illusion Is Coming for You
Here’s what keeps me up at night: the people who look the most capable in an AI-mediated world may be the ones who’ve skipped the struggle entirely.
They write with clarity, but never wrote a bad first draft. They present with poise, but never bombed a pitch. They think fast, but only when the AI fills in the gaps.
And then one day, the context disappears. The AI is off. The pressure is real. And they crumble. Because nobody ever taught them how to hold weight without assistance.
As leaders, we’re building systems that reward signal, not substance. Outputs, not intuition. Competence cosplay. We’re promoting the polished. And quietly wondering why nobody’s growing.
You’re Not Thinking Clearly Either
If you’ve ever asked AI to write something important for you, a strategy memo, a difficult message, a company vision, you know the dissociation I’m talking about.
You start with a vague idea. The AI spins it into something articulate. You read it. Tweak it. Ship it. But something’s off.
You didn’t wrestle with the ideas. You didn’t work through the tradeoffs. You didn’t feel the discomfort that usually sharpens the thinking. You delegated the struggle. And now, the conviction that should live under your decision? It’s not really yours.
That’s a problem.
You Can’t Measure What You Can’t See
Most traditional performance signals are now suspect. Clarity of writing? Maybe AI. Strategic thinking? Maybe AI. Great presentation? Could be AI.
So what are we measuring?
If we can’t tell where the person ends and the tool begins, then our reviews, our promotions, our mentorship decisions, all of it gets foggy. And here’s the scary part: if we don’t find a better compass, we’re going to reward the people who optimize best for perception. Not those doing the actual work.
That’s a fast path to disillusionment. And eventually, decay.
What It Means to Tame AI
Still, resistance alone isn’t a strategy. But it is worth asking, why is it so common?
Some fear job displacement. Others fear misuse. Many just don’t understand how it works or what it might replace. That fear is human. And as leaders, we need to meet it with empathy, not dismissal. Then go one step further.
To tame AI is to shape how it shows up. When it’s helpful, when it’s silent, and how it integrates without distorting. Taming AI doesn’t mean rejecting progress. It means stepping into it with deliberate choices, shaping how the tool fits, not how we vanish into it.
That means:
- Building intentional guardrails around critical workflows, like hiring, performance reviews, and mentorship. Where human judgment must remain primary.
- Defining use cases and boundaries. When AI assistance is expected, when it’s optional, and when it’s explicitly off-limits.
- Teaching people to think alongside the tool, not let it think for them.
- Preserving the arenas where people still need to fail, recover, and grow.
It’s about using AI to amplify what’s human, not erase it.
Practices for Responsible Integration
1. Create AI-Free Zones
Carve out spaces for unfiltered interaction. Walking meetings. Live collaboration sessions. Unstructured one-on-ones. Anywhere the polish can’t hide the person.
These aren’t inefficiencies. They’re diagnostic tools.
2. Make AI Use Transparent
Normalize disclosure. “I drafted this with help.” “This is AI-polished.” Build cultural defaults around when and how AI should show up, and when it shouldn’t.
3. Protect Human Development
Call out the areas where skill still needs to be built the hard way. Writing. Critical thinking. Decision-making under uncertainty.
Design challenges that can’t be outsourced.
4. Develop Forensic Listening
Get better at spotting the disconnects. Does their writing outpace their speech? Can they explain the logic behind what they shared? Do they struggle when AI’s not in the room?
These signals matter more now.
5. Rethink What You Reward
Start measuring what can’t be faked: emotional intelligence, integrity under pressure, the ability to admit not knowing. Curiosity. Grit. Follow-through.
Not just what looks good, but what holds up.
6. Model Imperfection
Share rough drafts. Talk about what you’re still figuring out. Let people see your process. Not just your polish.
That’s how you give others permission to do the same.
Final Thought: Don’t Lose the Plot
The promise of AI is real. But it comes with a price.
If we let it, AI will give us faster code, prettier prose, better decks, and teams full of people we think we know, doing work we think we understand, growing in ways that seem real.
But only seem.
The leaders who thrive won’t be the ones who automate the fastest. They’ll be the ones who stay grounded in the messy, imperfect, deeply human signals that still matter most.
So before you chase the next integration or celebrate a perfect pitch, ask yourself: Did I hear the person? Or just the polish?
Because you can’t outsource trust. Or growth. Or conviction.
And if we lose those?
The rest doesn’t matter.